Post by JOEL ABRAMS on Feb 23, 2021 5:46:41 GMT -5
Joel wasn’t sure how to feel as the words left his lips. Wasn’t sure if it was nervousness or excitement causing his already racing heart to pump harder. Any time he thought it might be one, it quickly melted into the other, confusing him. Perhaps it was both, perhaps neither. Perhaps it was fear making his insides tremble, his first reckless steps into this new territory setting him on edge, igniting his fight or flight response. Perhaps it was relief he felt, certain, for the first time in far too long, that someone could see him, and more than that, liked what they saw. Joel had spent so much time feeling invisible and forgotten that anyone noticing him felt like a miracle. But Aodhan saw him. Aodhan saw him. He looked over the man’s face, cheeks growing warmer with every passing moment and knowing it had nothing to do with the summer heat. Something flickered across Aodhan’s face so quickly that Joel barely caught it, and it made his brows twitch in response. It had looked a lot like surprise, but Joel had to be mistaken. He had too be. What would Aodhan have to be surprised by? Certainly not that Joel had accepted his invitation and all it implied. Joel didn’t know much but one thing he knew for certain was that someone who looked like Aodhan didn’t get turned down often. Even if he had the personality of an old shoe brush, he would still get laid whenever he wanted. His body alone would make him desired. Add in the dimples and the accent and it was a done deal. Wasn’t he living, breathing proof of that? The smile that lit up Aodhan’s face caused an odd tugging sensation in Joel’s chest, something he hadn’t felt in years. It made it easy to mirror his enthusiasm, a bright smile lighting up his own face. His eyes lingered on Aodhan as he gulped down his drink, another tug deep inside him as the man drew attention to his lips and found himself fighting the urge to lean in right there and then. Joel thought that had they been somewhere safer, somewhere darker, less public, he might have. Nervous excitement bubbled up inside him again and he toyed with his half empty glass, hoping it would distract his eager hands. Joel nodded, another warm smile in place as Aodhan suggested he wait by the door while he said goodbye to his friends. “Yeah, sure,” he replied, surprising himself with how calm and casual he sounded. Anyone looking on could believe that this was Joel’s typical Friday night. Only he knew how new this was. How nerve-racking. How needed. He lifted his glass, taking another long sip as he slid from his stool, not quite finishing the beer before returning the glass to the bar. His eyes slid from Aodhan to the table he’d emerged from where a cluster of people sat talking and laughing and, he noted with a jolt, watching. Not all of them, thank goodness, just a couple. The woman with the oversized eyes caught his gaze, and when she smiled at him, Joel found himself smiling back. With a fresh wave of heat crawling along his neck toward his cheeks, Joel turned away and made his way to the door. He decided to wait outside, as much so he wouldn’t be tempted to try to decipher Aodhan’s conversation with his friends as for the air, although it wasn’t much cooler outdoors than it was in the pub. As he waited, Joel tried to ignore the questions and worries popping up in his mind, asking him if he was doing the right thing, if he should get to know Aodhan first, if he was in danger. It was to be expected. His experiences had made him jittery, wary of people who appeared too good to be true, and Aodhan certainly fell into that category. But Joel wasn’t the foolish, wide-eyed, trusting kid he’d once been. He couldn’t so easily be led astray. And those experiences, he reminded himself, had necessitated survival skills Joel would never have developed were he still that naïve boy. He could take care of himself, and he wanted this. He wanted Aodhan. Wanted a life where he could enjoy himself and not live in fear. And tonight, he decided, was when it began. |