Post by KAMRAN CHOWDHURY on Nov 17, 2019 17:51:52 GMT -5
Just knock the door, you numpty. Six words Kam had repeatedly told himself with increasing impatience over the last ten minutes. Much to his frustration, he was yet to listen to them. Every time he thought he might, something held him back. Maybe it was the uneasy twisting in his gut, maybe the anxious thudding in his chest that made his heart feel like it was trying to escape and leg it down the street. Maybe he was just a coward. Whatever it was, it stopped his feet from carrying him up to the blue door he couldn’t quite stop staring at. He never used to have this problem. He’d climbed the steps to Rosa’s front door more times than he could remember, and he’d never thought twice about it. The apartment behind it was a place he’d always felt at home. Somewhere he could relax, unwind in the company of someone who always raised his spirits and a smile. Someone with whom he’d shared long nights and lazy mornings, wrapped up in each other in more ways than one. But everything was different now, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it? Kam sighed as he started pacing again. He was surprised, yet endlessly thankful, that no one had called the police on the strange man wearing a gorge into the pavement outside the building. He looked to the blue door once more. Maybe he was overthinking this. Reading too much into it. After all, it had just been a kiss. He’d kissed her loads of times before. But that was different. She’d been his girlfriend then and his to kiss. She wasn’t anymore. They’d agreed that a long time ago, back when they’d decided their careers were more important. They were friends. Good friends. Kam was fine with friends. If that’s true, why did you kiss her? He didn’t have a good answer to that. He barely had an answer at all. And it wasn’t like he’d planned to do it. He’d just taken her out for dinner, a thank you and a catch up all at once. It hadn't been a date. At least, they hadn't called it a date. Just two friends getting dinner together. But when he’d apparated her back home, he’d stood on that doorstep, just a few feet away, and kissed her. No thought, no planning, all instinct. It didn’t matter that she’d kissed him back – and she had, he remembered. He remembered that part very clearly. What mattered was that he didn’t know what it meant. Admittedly, that was partly because he’d panicked in the moment, made flustered excuses, and left. At the time, he’d told himself he just needed a little space to figure out why he’d crossed that line, and once he’d worked that out, they could move past it. Only that had been three weeks ago and Kam was no closer to understanding any of his actions that night. And he wouldn’t understand until he talked to her. Just knock the door, you numpty. Kam stared at the door, clenching his jaw with newfound determination, and forced his feet to climb the steps. He had no idea what to expect. Maybe she’d want to talk about it. Maybe she’d rather pretend it had never happened at all. Kam didn’t know which idea he disliked the most. He lifted a hand and, after moment of hesitation, rapped his knuckles against the door. There. It was done now. One way or another, it would all be sorted soon enough. He told himself he was relieved, but that didn’t stop his heart doing somersaults as he waited to see if she would open the door. |