Post by JOEL ABRAMS on Feb 20, 2019 10:16:50 GMT -5
Joel had always had trouble telling people ‘no.’ A born people-pleaser, from a young age he’d bent over backwards to be accommodating. To put other people at ease even at the expense of his own. He’d grown a little better at setting boundaries as he’d grown older and arguably wiser, but he still struggled. He couldn’t look into the eyes of those he cared about and no feel the urge to do whatever they wanted, just to make them happy. It was even more difficult when those eyes were so very much like his own. Since he and Aoife had reconnected, Joel had been a regular visitor to the Taog household. Sometimes he stopped by just to say hi, most often he came over to cook them dinner, relishing the feeling of giving back to those who’d been so graciously welcoming and forgiving. After learning the truth of Charlie’s parentage, Joel had stopped by even more. He wanted to spend as much time with them as he possibly could, even going so far as to rent a two-bedroom house in the same small town. Tonight had been one such evening. He’d come straight over after his shift at The Muddy Cup and made them dinner, spending a couple of hours playing with Charlie before it was time for her to be bathed and put to bed. Joel’s heart had ached with happiness when Charlie had requested that he be the one to tuck her in, settling beside her on her bed to curl up and read. The standard was one story, a fact Joel well knew, but when she’d pleaded for another, Joel had been powerless to refuse. He’d read to her, funny voices and all, until her eyes had closed and her breathing slowed. When he was sure that she was sound asleep, he’d eased himself off the bed, kissed her forehead, and tiptoed out of the room. He found Aoife in the living room, curled up on the couch, a glass of wine in her hand. There was a glass waiting for him on the coffee table next to a half empty bottle of red. Joel smiled as he moved over to the couch, taking the spot beside her with a happy sigh. “Took a bit longer than I expected, sorry,” he said, leaning forward to grab his glass. “She negotiated me from one bedtime story to two. She drives a hard bargain,” he grinned before taking a sip. He still wasn’t a big wine drinker, but between Aoife and his sister, he was learning. Joel settled back on the couch, eyes a little glazed as he stared into the middle distance. He could feel it again, the happy fluttering in his chest. It seemed to be a permanent feature these days, and it left him wondering if it was his heart growing, swelling, bursting with all the love he’d always had but that now had somewhere to go. “I still have moments when I can’t believe it,” he said softly. He wasn’t sure if he was talking to Aoife or reminding himself. “She’s mine. I have a daughter.” Joel let out a small breath that might have been born of amazement or joy or some wonderful mixture of the two. “Think it’s going to take a while to really sink in,” he told Aoife as he glanced to her. ”I gave up on the idea of having a family a long time ago.” He wore a small, wistful smile as he thought back to a time when he’d believed accepting who he was meant sacrificing the life he’d always wanted. The life he’d always been told he’d have. Growing up and meeting a girl, settling down, getting married, raising children in the church. For a long time, Joel had believed that because he couldn’t even get the first part right, the rest would never follow. But that wasn’t true. He had a family, a child he’d lay down his life for, and now he also had hope for the future. |