the way the biscuit crumbles --> Kam

He had wanted Robin to admit she remembered that time. How painful it had been, how many tears she had cried. How she had struggled to function for what had felt like an age. How he had been there every step of the way, holding her hand and holding her up. Helping her put one foot in front of the other. He’d thought he’d feel something like vindication, but he didn’t. Kam just felt empty. It wasn’t, he realised, that he felt nothing. Quite the opposite. More that he felt so much that all the anger and disappointment and resentment circled back around to numbness. An overwhelming rush of emotions so strong he couldn’t separate one from the other.

He felt Robin shift, only looking to her when she reached for him, wrapping his hands in her own. Something inside Kam lurched. He couldn’t tell where it came from, whether it was born of frustration or some deep longing he couldn’t put into words, but it rippled through him unpleasantly anyway. He fought the urge to pull away, to put distance between them, but he didn’t welcome her either. His fingers didn’t curl around hers the way they had a million times before. Just left them hanging limply in hers.

He watched her as she spoke, all the hurt and bitterness he felt clear in his eyes. Kam had never been good at hiding his true feelings. He’d always worn them on his sleeve for the whole world to see. He’d always thought it part of what made him a good Healer. Showing compassion and warmth to his patients was what made them so responsive to him, and therefore was how he gave them the best care. It translated to all his relationships. There was never any doubt when Kam was being attentive. He always showed his tenderness, his affection, his encouragement. But it meant his ugly emotions were clear, too, and he was feeling many of them right then.

Robin explained that she hadn't told him the whole truth. That she’d given her ex an ultimatum: to commit to her or leave. The spike of anger Kam felt wasn’t dampened by the sight of Robin’s tears, although he wasn’t sure what the anger was directed at. Robin herself, maybe. He knew, logically, that there had to have been more to the story than she’d said. Knew that even as the very best of friends, they didn’t tell each other everything. Everyone had secrets. Everyone had a rich inner life with thoughts and desires and dreams they didn’t share with the outside world. Kam knew he did, and Robin was no different. But, he realised, he felt betrayed anyway.

Or maybe the anger was for Jack, who’d looked a heartbroken woman in the eye, a woman reeling from the loss of her mother, her whole world crumbling around her, and left. Had Robin been unreasonable? Probably. Grief did strange things to people. But ultimatum or not, Jack had still witnessed a woman clinging to life by her fingertips and walked away anyway. If Kam knew nothing else about the man, that callous act alone would tell him everything he needed to know.

Kam watched in silence as tears streaked across Robin’s face. He made no effort to comfort her. Didn’t wrap her in his arms the way he normally would, didn’t murmur softly to her that everything would be okay. Just watched her as the furrow in his brow deepened. And then his lips were moving before he gave them permission. ”So you’ve been lying to me for twenty years?” he heard himself ask. There was no malice in his voice, no anger. Not much of anything really. Just disappointment, and the growing fear he’d never again look at her in quite the same way.

TAG // ROBIN WILEY

WEARING // ★

DATE // WINTER 2038

NOTES // NUDGE FOR CHANGES ♥